pk and other movies

My Dear Son,

You slept when we went to see GI Joe, Frozen, both the Hobbit movies, and the long list continues. There is somthing about a darkened cinema and very loud Dolby speakers that lulls you to sleep gently. I ried it at home and it didn't work. Only during Dhoom 3 you were partly awake and insisted very loudly that you needed to go and do potty, making me miss the last part entirely.
Anyways we went to see PK and to my surprise (do i keep repeating that phrase? i wonder why), you saw the entire movie spellbound. We were happy. The torture started next day. When you insisted you wanted to see the movie again. You made us play the songs on youtube, made us copy the steps, danced to it yourself ad hummed the songs the entire day. Then you started singing, I don't know why but loudly. Even the abusive ones. Like me you have the talent to replace the lyrics as you seem fit. But not the abusive one. That you sing word y word to my dismay. So i drafted a letter to the PK crew in anguish and posted it on their fb page. here's it

To Mr Amir Khan, Mr Hirani, Mr Shantanu Moitra, Mr Swaroop Khan or whoever may it concern,

As a family, we never miss any of your movies Mr Hirani. By we, I mean to include my soon-to-be 4 year old son. He loves all the songs of your latest movie PK. He starts listening to them at 6 am when he wakes up. All of them. He can even sing all these songs. Word by word.  Even tharki chokra. I tried to tell him he is hearing it wrong and its actually firki chokra. For a while he believed me. Imagine my surprise today when he woke me up with haraami, kamina and some other choice words. I know its trendy to use abusive language in songs these days but we want to continue going to your movies as a family. A humble request. Please no more dirty lyrics. It does not suit you.  

Flags and under stuff...

My dear son, 

Since i have missed out a lot in the recent past i will try to put it all here. All the small cute things... 
Like when i sneezed and you ran to your room screaming "i'll get hanky panky for you mumma"
Like when your dad said he was hurt on his eyes and you kissed the hurt away
Like how you helped me in kitchen by crushing the black peppers (even though i didn't need it you insisted)
And how you slipped down, got up and laughed and said"oh i fell down becof of gravity"! 
And the most embarrassing this month - you put two tiny gender neutral baby dolls together and said, "boy and girl are hugging and kissing" !!!
Your most most endearing till date - i love you mumma with a little puckered kiss on my cheek 
Strangest one liner - mumma kya aap mere dost banoge? What the fudge i avoid srk movies for a reason darsh!! I hate his cheesy one liners

                                 And the current obsessions these days are -

bigger dora kitchen set - in the last 6 months you have made us buy 3 kitchen sets, and now you want another!!!

Pluto the planet is crying becoz its not a planet anymore! some youtube song and then you want to know the whys and hows and i think i need to seriously study all this :O   
oh yes another doll house cos this one does not have a bathroom. i seriously think i prayed too hard for a girl when you were inside the tummy and hence all these antics. there is just no other logical explanation!!

making lego blocks of flags of strangely tiny nations from Africa and Europe, 

songs sung by AR Rahman, Sunidhi Chauhan and ummm yes Amitabh Bacchan singing ekla chalo re

A video of light and sound show at India Gate 

and little einsten birthday cake for your birthday. 

Yupp that's it for now. i hope  

Retaliate not attack

My dear son 
For almost a week you would come home and tell us how your frienmy (sometimes you do say he is your friend) hit you or how the other boys were fughting with you. I spoke to the teacher, concerned parents and even the kids. Your little tales continued. The teacher assured me the kids don't hurt each other and they are only playing. Then one day you came home with what i would call a punched in eye. That day your dad sat you down and explained the importance of self-defense or what i would call retaliation. I have always told you to hit back if some one hurts you. But somehow what your dad said registered. Two days later your teacher complained to me that you were hitting the frienmy and not settling down. I told her, "we have taught him to hit back if a classmate hits him." She looked at me for a moment and nodded. I am happy to report no further complaints. Not from you nor your teacher. You need to give it back to the people who hurt you. Mumma is not going to solve your problems. That's the way she grew up. And that's how you need to raise yourself. It's one of the most important lessons of life. Hope you remember this one for always my dear. As always, i love you. 

your choice of language

My Dear Son,

There is a little bit of Amy Chua in all the moms in the world. Specially Indian moms. We are more like our Chinese counterparts in making threats. Just making them. And in your case, in just making threats during lunch time and dinner time and breakfast time and snacks time. But sometimes i do get carried away and that's how you got your first oatmeal bath today (i.e. a few spoons of your favorite breakfast on you). Someone did tell me once that oatmeal is good for skin. So when you refuse to finish your breakfast even after an hour, you might get a nice scrubby oatmeal bath from time to time.... but i think you enjoyed it

And i have been thinking of ways to initiate you on a foreign language. While you are still basics in english, hindi and spanish (thanks to dora and diego), i was thinking of starting maybe french or german or japanese.
But you surprised me with your choice. On youtube you have been requesting (read pointing) tamil rhymes (vana vana valiape... soem version of rain rain go away i think) for the last two weeks. Nothing to be alarmed about, i tell myself. But now you are singing those tunes too :O
i have nothing against regional languages but maybe we can go back to watching trotro in french please. i miss trotro now.

and now about Amaira. The first time you me her you rolled on the floor and threw a tantrum because your mom was holding her. Now, it seems, you can't wait to get hold of her. Today you told me, "i want to hold Amaira, let's go meet Amaira." i think maybe you have been dreaming about her since you ask for her every 3-4 days. :-D

As always
your loving mom ;)

back to school

My dear son,

i have not been able to write for the last few months.
Why
Because your school had announced summer vacations.
Which meant i was at your beck and call all day long for golf, pinball and cricket and basketball and hide-n-seek and bow-arrow and blocks and ofcourse your endless board books and story books and mickeymouse clubhouse books. Please don't get me started on those. So i was not able to write. At all.
But we had so much fun playing with you that i was a little sad when your school reopened.

So here's a new list of things you are obsessing about these days:
Munching on cucumber
Pinching people really bad (your dad, your Advay dada)
Attacking people with your bow and arrow
Eating ladoo while watching chotta bheem
Playing the flute while watching little krishna
Teaching me words from your board books every day (sob sob). did i mention its a dozen book set?
Spiderman toothpaste and toothbrush and shirt and cap and water bottle and and and
Amaira :*

Anyways i will be back with more on the last one laters

As always,
Your loving mom

and now you want a cat

My dear son,

I have not been able to write as much i wanted in the last few days. Due to your coughing :( Specially around 3 am. And then you throw up. So i try to sleep in the day when you take your nap. Hence fewer cute letters..

We went to the temple this friday. And we had fun. You rang lots of holy bells and you had lots of 'prasad' and you got a few tikka too. So it was a fun trip for us. Until, you decided to befriend the temple dog who was dozing peacefully. You went and tried to pat it. And it snarled at you. Because dogs don't like surprises. But you didn't cry then. You came to me very quietly and told me, "mumma i want a cat." You cried in the car, when i asked you what happened. I think you were in shock. I was also amazed. For two minutes i don't watch you and this happens. sob sob sob

But this didn't shock me as much as what you did last week. We were getting ready for your daily "park outing" when suddenly you were nowhere to be found. It seems you didn't want to wait up for us. After we had searched all your hiding spots inside the house (behind the curtain, behind the door, behind the toy basket, beneath the study table...), we found you waiting for us, inside the lift. You were smiling.
When did you grow so tall that you could reach the lift button on your own? Or turn the door latch on your own? And just when did you turn so so naughty? I swear i had a mini heart attack that day.

Oh, in other news, your father has forgotten all romantic bollywood songs these days. The only thing he can hum to me these days is "3 little kittens" or "5 little moneys". Me? i'm a 'finger family' fan these days. All of them. Especially "where is thumbkin".

As always,
Your loving mom.

no more midnite attacks please

My dear son,

If I wear new earrings, that's because I am a woman. Which you are not. Clearly.
So tonight after I go to sleep can I please expect you to NOT pull at my earrings.
I know they are pretty and they will be yours (I mean your wife's) eventually.

So please spare my ears the pain tonight.

And i suggest you work on communicating with your dad. More effectively.
Just pulling at both your ears and saying Papaaa will not get your message across.
Tell him you want both your ears pierced and adorned just like your mom's.

Also, can you please not wear your pearl necklace the same day I do.
Especially not on your check-print shirts. On a movie + shopping day. And definitely not the 5-strand necklace. Looks quite strange.

as always,
your loving mom
 

spiderman spiderman...

My dear son,

You are  exactly three years three months and two days old today.

You are still not eating paraatha (i have yet to try roti)

You are obsessed with your splash pool, rooh afza (rose drink that i hate), spider-man and your orange tootthbrush. and my accessories which includes my neck pieces, nail polishes etc.

how do i know this?

you start these days by a dip in your splash pool. it's empty you know.

you need pink juice every 2 hours. you have stopped drinking water i think.

you have been singing the spider-man song. very often. "spider-maan spider-maan, tunne churaya mere dil kaa chaiin." i hope you know its a very strange bhojpuri song. yes there is a bhojpuri actor in the movie and he is our desi spiderman.

you are inclined to have an orange toothbrush attach any time of the day, after which you hang on it like doremon is with nobita.

you have been wearing my nailpolish for the last 4 days. you wore my 5-strand chunky necklace to a movie yesterday. after that during shopping also you refused to remove it from your neck. you were quite upset when we removed it forcefully on our way back home.

as always,
your loving and very patient mom

leo mom's battle hymn

My dear son,

I recently finished reading Amy Chua's Battle hymn of the tiger mom.
Why?
Because until now it never crossed my mind to read about the merits of the Chinese style of parenting.
But after facing a hard time in the Indian style of parenting which involves lots of pampering and cuddling and a little threatening, i finally decided to read her book. How bad could it be i reasoned.

Actually very bad. For a few nights i had nightmares about my mom becoming like her.
Followed by an intense self-awareness check. Am i becoming like her? You see, the woman has fascinated me with her success - both her kids are child prodigies, yet her parenting style was too tough i think.

I anyways tried her style and threatened you with 'alone time in bathroom' for rejecting your lunch.
You simply looked at the bath area and requested for a bath.I obviously refused since your last bath was just an hour back.
I asked you to say sorry and promise me that you would eat your lunch.You said sorry. And then you started singing. One of your animal rhymes. And then you looked at me and said "mama smile".
I obviously melted. So Sorry Amy Chua but it seems i'm a little soft for your style. But i would still suggest a few friends to read your book. actually just a couple of them really.

So while you are napping peacefully now, i am thinking of more threat-plans for your lunch.
An ever optimistic Vivien Leigh said In Gone with the winds,"after all tomorrow is another day."
and I hope so too my munchkin. maybe you will eat on your own tomorrow. without a fuss. maybe.

Your loving mom.

no quack quack please

My dear son,

We would let you re-visit the topic of name change again.
Very soon. In another ten years definitely.
But until then, please stop calling yourself Daksh. Or even Duck.
We don't have a problem with either. They are both pretty names.
But just because your very young classmates have been pronouncing your name differently, we are not going to do the same.
Your name is Darsh. Named after the playful God Krishna. So let's just stick to that for now.
So next time if someone asks your name, please don't say Duck.

Your loving Mom.

16 may 2014: open house

My dear son,

it was your last day at school before the summer holidays begin. It was also the day when you recited rhymes with your classmates in-front of all the parents. Your first official stage performance. And it was a success. Unlike some of your classmates you were not tongue-tied. Or break into tears. I am so proud of you.
But you looked sleepy and dazed.
Why?
Maybe because now you get up at 5:30 am instead of 6 am.

And the one-on-one interaction with your teacher was quite entertaining. It seems you know everything already, be it numbers, animal sounds, rhymes and alphabets. The first impression you give to her is that you are not listening, since you are constantly humming some rhyme but it seems you do reply to every question your teacher asks, like which is the biggest continent or where is the Ostrich found (reminder to self to google all this up). In fact, you answer out of turn too for some of your classmates too. She then told me about an incident where you identified zero and one correctly and seemed to have impressed both the teachers with this knowledge. I looked at her sweetly for a second. Then i very politely informed her that you can identify and recite till 100.
 
Anyways what follows now is the most amazing part. It seems very often you lie down while the teacher is interacting with your group. At times you just start humming a rhyme and go in a trance-rhyme mode. Then there are times when you roll on the floor. The teacher then informed me at times you do all three. Lie down on the floor and roll and sing. While the group interaction is going on. Irrespective of the teacher's request to get up and pay attention.

What tops this? It seems yesterday during class you asked permission to get a drink from the water cooler. But you never returned.A search ensued and you were found on the school bathroom floor, rolling and singing some tune.

when you meet a girl for the first time

My dear son,

It's a bit embarrassing to have this conversation with you when you are not even 4 but we need to do this.

When you meet a cute little girl in a park, you should not sing  "chubby cheeks, rosy lips, eyes are blue lovely too".

Since she was younger than you and barely listening to you love song, you got saved. Infact, you were lucky she was more interested in your football cause these are not the words to should coo to a girl you meet for the first time. Just a simple hi, how do you do suffices you know.

Fair warning - When you grow older, you can compliment a girl in any way you like but never tell her she has chubby cheeks. You might end up with the slapped cheek syndrome if you do.

As always, your loving mom.

Polly put the kettle on

My dear son,

Yesterday you didn't water the plants with your usual tumbler.
You asked for my favorite teapot instead.
Why?
Because you wanted to sing "polly put the kettle on" and "i'm a little teapot" while watering all the 31 plants in the two balconies.
It was quite nice for the first half hour. After that it was slightly boring.
We missed listening to your version of "mary mary quite contrary how does your garden grow."
i think the plants missed it too. they didn't look so cheerful.

So please give me back my teapot and get back to singing mary mary while you nurture the plants at 6 am everyday. By the way you might want to rethink the early hour. Maybe the plants need some more sleep? Especially on the weekends you know...

Your loving mom

4 elephants on my wrist: dunkin donuts

4 elephants on my wrist: dunkin donuts: My dear son, Today we went to a Dunkin Donuts outlet for breakfast. You were so excited you asked for all the donuts on display. You sai...

dunkin donuts

My dear son,

Today we went to a Dunkin Donuts outlet for breakfast.
You were so excited you asked for all the donuts on display. You said, " i want this one, and this one, and this on..."
so we offered you a death by chocolate. Death by chocolate donut, i mean. 
it took the guy 5 mins to get it to our table with rest of our order and till that time you kept pestering me to get it. You said, "go get the donut mama."

When it came, you took a bite and refused to touch it again.
You then wanted my chocolate Dunkaccino. The one i was having after months. After lots of months i mean. Thankfully you didn't like it after a couple of sips.
You then pounced on your father's lemon iced tea. And you finished it. To the last sip.

So now we know what not to get for our choco-fanatic son from Dunkin Donuts. 
Nothing with chocolate from America's largest retailer of baked goods. 

purple thumbs

Dear Baby,

Today you went to school with purple nail polish on both your thumbs.
Why?
Because you refused to have breakfast without it.

So what will i do now when i pick you up in the afternoon and your teacher questions me regarding my sanity for allowing a boy purple nail paint? in school? especially where little girls are not even allowed colored hair bands?
I'll tell them, the world wide web says purple color signifies "good judgement". You refused some of my favorite colors like black which indicates mystery or yellow which points to the fact that i am very talkative, and instead chose a color that says that someday you will be a great "judge". since purple indicates "good judgement" i know it now. and i will tell her too. that you have a great big eye for good judgement. and purple nail-polish just reinforces that.

and i think i need to call my soon to retire legal-aid father and give him the good news that you are going to be a great big judge. maybe that'll help me keep him from pestering me to pursue law. i am sure it's worth a try. so yayy for purple nail-polish