no more midnite attacks please

My dear son,

If I wear new earrings, that's because I am a woman. Which you are not. Clearly.
So tonight after I go to sleep can I please expect you to NOT pull at my earrings.
I know they are pretty and they will be yours (I mean your wife's) eventually.

So please spare my ears the pain tonight.

And i suggest you work on communicating with your dad. More effectively.
Just pulling at both your ears and saying Papaaa will not get your message across.
Tell him you want both your ears pierced and adorned just like your mom's.

Also, can you please not wear your pearl necklace the same day I do.
Especially not on your check-print shirts. On a movie + shopping day. And definitely not the 5-strand necklace. Looks quite strange.

as always,
your loving mom
 

spiderman spiderman...

My dear son,

You are  exactly three years three months and two days old today.

You are still not eating paraatha (i have yet to try roti)

You are obsessed with your splash pool, rooh afza (rose drink that i hate), spider-man and your orange tootthbrush. and my accessories which includes my neck pieces, nail polishes etc.

how do i know this?

you start these days by a dip in your splash pool. it's empty you know.

you need pink juice every 2 hours. you have stopped drinking water i think.

you have been singing the spider-man song. very often. "spider-maan spider-maan, tunne churaya mere dil kaa chaiin." i hope you know its a very strange bhojpuri song. yes there is a bhojpuri actor in the movie and he is our desi spiderman.

you are inclined to have an orange toothbrush attach any time of the day, after which you hang on it like doremon is with nobita.

you have been wearing my nailpolish for the last 4 days. you wore my 5-strand chunky necklace to a movie yesterday. after that during shopping also you refused to remove it from your neck. you were quite upset when we removed it forcefully on our way back home.

as always,
your loving and very patient mom

leo mom's battle hymn

My dear son,

I recently finished reading Amy Chua's Battle hymn of the tiger mom.
Why?
Because until now it never crossed my mind to read about the merits of the Chinese style of parenting.
But after facing a hard time in the Indian style of parenting which involves lots of pampering and cuddling and a little threatening, i finally decided to read her book. How bad could it be i reasoned.

Actually very bad. For a few nights i had nightmares about my mom becoming like her.
Followed by an intense self-awareness check. Am i becoming like her? You see, the woman has fascinated me with her success - both her kids are child prodigies, yet her parenting style was too tough i think.

I anyways tried her style and threatened you with 'alone time in bathroom' for rejecting your lunch.
You simply looked at the bath area and requested for a bath.I obviously refused since your last bath was just an hour back.
I asked you to say sorry and promise me that you would eat your lunch.You said sorry. And then you started singing. One of your animal rhymes. And then you looked at me and said "mama smile".
I obviously melted. So Sorry Amy Chua but it seems i'm a little soft for your style. But i would still suggest a few friends to read your book. actually just a couple of them really.

So while you are napping peacefully now, i am thinking of more threat-plans for your lunch.
An ever optimistic Vivien Leigh said In Gone with the winds,"after all tomorrow is another day."
and I hope so too my munchkin. maybe you will eat on your own tomorrow. without a fuss. maybe.

Your loving mom.

no quack quack please

My dear son,

We would let you re-visit the topic of name change again.
Very soon. In another ten years definitely.
But until then, please stop calling yourself Daksh. Or even Duck.
We don't have a problem with either. They are both pretty names.
But just because your very young classmates have been pronouncing your name differently, we are not going to do the same.
Your name is Darsh. Named after the playful God Krishna. So let's just stick to that for now.
So next time if someone asks your name, please don't say Duck.

Your loving Mom.

16 may 2014: open house

My dear son,

it was your last day at school before the summer holidays begin. It was also the day when you recited rhymes with your classmates in-front of all the parents. Your first official stage performance. And it was a success. Unlike some of your classmates you were not tongue-tied. Or break into tears. I am so proud of you.
But you looked sleepy and dazed.
Why?
Maybe because now you get up at 5:30 am instead of 6 am.

And the one-on-one interaction with your teacher was quite entertaining. It seems you know everything already, be it numbers, animal sounds, rhymes and alphabets. The first impression you give to her is that you are not listening, since you are constantly humming some rhyme but it seems you do reply to every question your teacher asks, like which is the biggest continent or where is the Ostrich found (reminder to self to google all this up). In fact, you answer out of turn too for some of your classmates too. She then told me about an incident where you identified zero and one correctly and seemed to have impressed both the teachers with this knowledge. I looked at her sweetly for a second. Then i very politely informed her that you can identify and recite till 100.
 
Anyways what follows now is the most amazing part. It seems very often you lie down while the teacher is interacting with your group. At times you just start humming a rhyme and go in a trance-rhyme mode. Then there are times when you roll on the floor. The teacher then informed me at times you do all three. Lie down on the floor and roll and sing. While the group interaction is going on. Irrespective of the teacher's request to get up and pay attention.

What tops this? It seems yesterday during class you asked permission to get a drink from the water cooler. But you never returned.A search ensued and you were found on the school bathroom floor, rolling and singing some tune.

when you meet a girl for the first time

My dear son,

It's a bit embarrassing to have this conversation with you when you are not even 4 but we need to do this.

When you meet a cute little girl in a park, you should not sing  "chubby cheeks, rosy lips, eyes are blue lovely too".

Since she was younger than you and barely listening to you love song, you got saved. Infact, you were lucky she was more interested in your football cause these are not the words to should coo to a girl you meet for the first time. Just a simple hi, how do you do suffices you know.

Fair warning - When you grow older, you can compliment a girl in any way you like but never tell her she has chubby cheeks. You might end up with the slapped cheek syndrome if you do.

As always, your loving mom.

Polly put the kettle on

My dear son,

Yesterday you didn't water the plants with your usual tumbler.
You asked for my favorite teapot instead.
Why?
Because you wanted to sing "polly put the kettle on" and "i'm a little teapot" while watering all the 31 plants in the two balconies.
It was quite nice for the first half hour. After that it was slightly boring.
We missed listening to your version of "mary mary quite contrary how does your garden grow."
i think the plants missed it too. they didn't look so cheerful.

So please give me back my teapot and get back to singing mary mary while you nurture the plants at 6 am everyday. By the way you might want to rethink the early hour. Maybe the plants need some more sleep? Especially on the weekends you know...

Your loving mom

4 elephants on my wrist: dunkin donuts

4 elephants on my wrist: dunkin donuts: My dear son, Today we went to a Dunkin Donuts outlet for breakfast. You were so excited you asked for all the donuts on display. You sai...

dunkin donuts

My dear son,

Today we went to a Dunkin Donuts outlet for breakfast.
You were so excited you asked for all the donuts on display. You said, " i want this one, and this one, and this on..."
so we offered you a death by chocolate. Death by chocolate donut, i mean. 
it took the guy 5 mins to get it to our table with rest of our order and till that time you kept pestering me to get it. You said, "go get the donut mama."

When it came, you took a bite and refused to touch it again.
You then wanted my chocolate Dunkaccino. The one i was having after months. After lots of months i mean. Thankfully you didn't like it after a couple of sips.
You then pounced on your father's lemon iced tea. And you finished it. To the last sip.

So now we know what not to get for our choco-fanatic son from Dunkin Donuts. 
Nothing with chocolate from America's largest retailer of baked goods. 

purple thumbs

Dear Baby,

Today you went to school with purple nail polish on both your thumbs.
Why?
Because you refused to have breakfast without it.

So what will i do now when i pick you up in the afternoon and your teacher questions me regarding my sanity for allowing a boy purple nail paint? in school? especially where little girls are not even allowed colored hair bands?
I'll tell them, the world wide web says purple color signifies "good judgement". You refused some of my favorite colors like black which indicates mystery or yellow which points to the fact that i am very talkative, and instead chose a color that says that someday you will be a great "judge". since purple indicates "good judgement" i know it now. and i will tell her too. that you have a great big eye for good judgement. and purple nail-polish just reinforces that.

and i think i need to call my soon to retire legal-aid father and give him the good news that you are going to be a great big judge. maybe that'll help me keep him from pestering me to pursue law. i am sure it's worth a try. so yayy for purple nail-polish