skype tutorials and questions

Dear Darsh

When you were younger you used to ask me questions about the planets and the solar system. So I got us a book and we spend many a pleasant afternoons poring over the pages.

Then you got obsessed with flags and maps and an atlas it was for us. And so on… until yesterday. Now I don’t know what books to buy for us. You are 3 months shy of your 6th bday but your questions have become slightly difficult for me to answer. 

After a very long time we had read a Krishna book cover to cover last evening so I was waiting for the questions about people in Vrindavan  but I wasn’t prepared for what was to follow… You asked me some peculiar questions regarding the digestive system. I will be honest. I never thought about such things. Some of your questions: if the water we drink gets converted to pee, then who colors it yellow? If the food that we consume make our poo then who shapes them? And why do they float? Also what makes us fart and burp…

And it didn’t end there. You wanted to know what makes up a storm and what is the difference between a hurricane and a tornado? I am still looking for books which will give me these answers. We did try to tell you that god makes the wind blow in different directions thus making hurricane and tornado but you just stared at us in a very strange manner. Like you knew we didn’t know the answers.

So I reached out to people at higher levels today and tonight you will skype with your elder brother who will try to unravel all these mysteries for you. His mom assures me that he knows all the answers and then some... Let’s see how that goes. In the meantime I am looking up the books online again. 

Did i tell i i love you? I do :*

20th Nov - The Sunday we went to India Gate

Dear D

After much planning and postponing and cancelling, we finally decided to go to India Gate last Sunday. Your parents were too pleased to have one Sunday free finally after so many weeks. So we didn’t do any research. Had we done any research, we would have found out that India Gate was already a booked venue that day by the Half Delhi Airtel marathon. The website had claimed 34,000 participants.

                                      

We actually found about it half-way on our route when we opened the trusty old Google Maps and it popped up the marathon details. We still went ahead because you were beginning to pout. But we found to our dismay (mostly your dismay and shock and horror...) that the entry roads to India Gate were blocked. To kill time and also because we were hungry we went and had a lavish brunch buffet at Haldiram's and also for some sought after imarti. After which we bullied and cajoled your father to venture again to visit your favorite monument.

This time, we got through. just took us 3 hours to reach it instead of the usual 50 minutes but never mind that. your expression was priceless. it was like watching a spaceship movie. You kept staring with open mouth and kept mumbling wow after few seconds. yes i am talking about india gate not taj mahal. You then proceeded to check it out from all the angles and even gazed into its eyes for quite a bit. you even insisted on touching it but thankfully there were too many jawans around for you to be too daring. You then insisted on staying back for the laser show in the night but we clarified with a Jawan on duty that it wasn’t to happen that Sunday.... After saluting an NCC Cadet from a distance you then went to catch a few soapy bubbles and you kept at it for quite some time because the vendor, enthused by your bubble catching talent, kept blowing bubbles at your way and for a minute i thought there was a competition going on. We finally bought one bubble blow set from him and after that you both relaxed.

The next destination was the children’s park. obviously. Here too, you went slightly crazy with the holed-out slides and tunnels. All in all you had a fun day. We came back home exhausted. err not you. You wanted a strawberry cake. Let me backtrack a little. you have been asking for a strawberry cake for so long but i have the lazy-mom syndrome going on these days. but you know the way around it so well. so instead of asking me to bake a strawberry cake you asked me to teach you how to bake one. i don't how you know that teaching baking to little kids has become one of my favorite things to do these days. So you baked it and I helped. And after you ate it we decided to invite your friends for a baking class where you can teach them the baking moves. Andon that note i'll say our day ended. 

Btw You sang Sia’s Cheap Thrills all the way to the monument and when we requested you for a change in song you sang kanha makhan chor. you have been trying to teach me the kanha song so that i may successfully sing it during bed time, lulling you to sleep. sadly i am not even half-way there. you know it by heart already. you also know 3 slokas. that is 2 more than i know ;) Your choice of songs and singers is pretty eccentric as of now – Boyzone – words, Christina Ricci – 1000 years, Jungle book theme song, Shankhar ji ka damru baje, Lego movie song etc. I think as long as you don’t sing hips don’t lie I will be okay.

You ae pretty helpful around home and kind to the less learned. you have started translating for family and friends even when we have told you that everyone knows passable English. So one of your grandmothers had to hear gussa chiriya – angry birds and the other one had to hear makri man. your twitter-star mosi whose poetry is followed by close to 5000 people daily had to hear kitaab chor – the book thief  recently.

Your dance moves are also quite funky and your bari mosi feels you can have a successful career in bollywood. I am not so sure. I think you can be a baker / a robotic engineer / scientist or a maths champ. Or you can be a lawyer. i think.... 

You – I want to be a scientist

Me – so please study. All scientists have to study a lot

You – can you show me the image of a scientist doing homework

Me – yes of course I will do that!

Me – Okay Google…look for little einstein doing home work 

Autumn fun - Nov 8

it was the autumn of 2016

the famous delhi chill was yet to come

girls were still roaming in tank tops and little pants

and babies were out without their caps

but one day after diwali people woke up to severe smog

they were mystified because it didn’t feel cold at all

they first blamed the Chinese firecrackers

and then they blamed Hindus for lighting those

and then they come to know that the real culprits 

were the fire-happy farmers and no one can really blame them now

so schools were closed after much deliberation

And a few people were encouraged to work from home

But the great pollution lasted for more than a week

and while the government decided on shields & sprays

one little boy had a brainwave

he asked his mom to make him a tent

She first looked at him a bit strangely 

but then saw the mischief in his eyes and said okay

So she got those old crutches saved for an emergency and tied them to the big round chair

And she draped it with a flowery bed sheet and they pretended it was in the jungle

And the little boy went inside the tent

with captain America & the new pillow & scratchy the blanket and a little USB lamp

But he still created some space for his grandmother and for a new fairy tale

And at bedtime he was still in the tent, tossing & heaving and pretended to snore

but after a while he climbed on the bed & slept peacefully then

In the morning he went back to his tent and picnic-ed with popcorns & books & his toys and remianed there until his next break

So next time when you think of the summers & winters 

think of the boy in the tent having fun in the autumn of 2016

When the Gods were invited for dinner

Darsh, this is how our diwali morning conversation went:

You-why are we cleaning the house, is someone coming?
Me-Gods - ganeshji and lakshmiji
Him
You-can i cook for them?
Me-1st we pray to them to come. We have to do puja in evening
You - why not now.
Me-they have to gwt ready. They take time. Why don't you start praying
You -they already told me they r coming in a dream. What should i cook?
Me- they come in the middle of the night. Might not be very hungry. Plus they have super powers which makes them invisible
You-then why are they getting ready? And why are they coming if they don't want to be seen?
And the conversation continues all day...

The Oct pages - Suhana's Diamond ring, yr 2nd alld trip and lesson in evacuation & yr lil bro

Dear Son,

The seating arrangement in your class is slightly different from most schools. boys and girls are seated around tables, alternatively i.e. boy sitting next to a girl sitting next to a boy... so you know more girls then boys. in a good way - i thought as in your previous school it was always girls vs boys. so every week you come home and talk about a new girl. trust me i was a happy mom till this point. then you drew a diamond ring and asked me to get this for Suhana as was wearing a very pretty frock!!! you initially insisted we go to her house and give it to her. you have changed your plans since last week and now you insist we buy one on amazon and deliver it to her house. because she wore a pretty dress once. We were still reeling when you manned up and confessed your love for Sia but to change the love of your life every week and taking it to the next step forward by locking it with a ring is a chat i had kept aside for maybe 20 years from now.

Snacks - Oh and in other news i shared my choc cupcake recipe with Sia's mom. and we both sent cupcakes. and you came home and said Sia's cupcakes were better. and now you want to take cookies for your class even though its not your turn. Just because you want to...

Yesterday i took you for a hair cut after a very long time. the last time i had taken you for probably 2 years back and you had cried, thrown up and ended up getting a messy haircut. this time i bribed you with a "slim & small" airplane and you were an angel. You were quite keen on looking like Salman and not Shah rukh though. Amir Khan was not in the running this time thankfully.

Recently you have gained a slightly obsessive quality about hoarding things. I got your grandma a wardrobe organizer. You took it away to your kitchen saying you needed it. we saw it being used as an organizer for all things that could be hanged in a kitchen. I was discarding some not so useful kitchen gadgets the other day and you took those too to your kitchen. did i tell you your pink and mauve kitchen has expanded to your study table and chair. we are things of giving you a few side tables too to store your ever-expanding utensils and other kitchen tools.

The second Allahabad trip was historically funny. Let me start with the train journey. You were more aware of the difference in the crowd. You chatted quite freely with quite a few strangers and also made friends with some children in the train. Thankfully in the train bathroom you did not ask me what is this for? You did not run away too. You loved climbing up and down and were not scared at all. But you were still spooked by the bugs and you think Allahabad is a city inside a zoo as there are too many animals here. i liked your perspective, albeit a bit wild.

Oh and did i tell you you tend to chnage your allegiance to different Gods every few months.
Last year you made us buy a statue of Hanuman as you wanted to do puja of a red hanumanji. This time also you started your demans for a hanuman costume and gada but halfway through Allahabad dusshera you became a huge fan of Lord Shiva. we were corrected everytime we said shivji. So then you wnated to get the wig to look like him. and tiger -skin look-alike clothes and a trishul. because you wnated to do the tandav dance. you also showed me how. but you still wnated to do it in full glory - read costume. we didnt find any of these things because you know na allahabd dusshera is slightly busy with ramleela every few kms. anyways i suggested we can grow your hair amd make it dirty to make it similar to lord shiva hairstyle but you were not satisfied. everytime you googled lord shiv hair on my phone you would push the phone under my nose and say i want this hair! thankfully you forgot all about the fake hair in delhi.

On our flight back, you got frantic to understand and touch and feel the emergency landing manual and the gear which inluces the vest and and oxygen mask etc. again. so we badgered a cute airhostess at Vistara to give you a tutorial on the same. you did manage to rattle a few travellers by your persistent what-if in case of emergency handling questions - what of the plane lands on water? what if it lands in the forest and the best - i want the plane to land on water because then i will be on the boat!
btw this is how the con started after all the passengers had de-boarded:
air-hostess - why do you wnat to know about the emergency landing? do you wnat to be a pilot?
you: no
air-hostess - do you want to be a crew then?
you - no
air-hostess - what do you want to be then?
you - i want to be a scientist and do a lot of experiments
air-hostess to me: Ma'am your son ahs high IQ levels thats why he wnats to know these things in detail
me: haha hmmmm can we start the instructions please!

oh and somthing happened recently that made you go awwww so cute. no seriously this is what you say everytime you see your little brother who you refused to call anything but Jack Jack before he was born but now you call him Arjun :) 

Waiting for customers...

Dear Darsh,

Today you received your 1st new kitchen set of the year.  But you have grown up a little now. You didn't want me to be your customer today. All geared-up in a chef hat and an apron, you were waiting for nana-nani (no 6) to serve them. All your kitchen equipments were lined up neatly with 4 mini plates ready to serve dal, roti & sabzi. You were also excited as you knew they will get you a lego set again. They did.
Today, you also cried as you wanted to go to USA with them. Sadly you were told that no one got your tickets. Actually that happened almost 6 hrs back but you are still upset about it. You refused to speak to kaka kaki today.
We have decided that in your restaurant jack jack will be the head waiter and you will be the restaurant manager. The menu, however will be the same.
Today, during lunch time, you showed me how you roll your roti everyday in school. That was the best moment of the day for me. Did i tell you i love you? I do so much more than you know 😚
In August we started you on two new things - table tennis and music. Let's see how long we can do it this time...

June 3, 2016

Dear Darsh,

Brace yourself because this is a long one…

Your nani was pretty mystified when she saw you crying today. After much cajoling you told me on the phone that the reason you were crying was because you broke a fridge magnet and because you do not want to go to Angad’s birthday.

Till date your attitude towards broken thing is that ‘it’s okay, we would get another one!’ Broken things do not cause a calamity in our house as much as a lost hand or the missing toilet roll of your lego people. So I guess you were majorly upset because of Angad. I am quite sure you will not be friends with Angad ever and here’s why: You both have hated each other at first sight and even though the moms get along pretty okay, there has always been a lot of friction tempered with jealousy between you two. You pretended to be excited about going to the party last evening and even today morning when I said bye to you but I guess you must have reflected over it during the day and you must have decided that you hate him after all. I am sure you will make lots of friends and enemies along your way but I am happy that you have finally decided to be honest about your feelings to me and to yourself.

Summer holidays are becoming unbearable for you I guess because you have been watsapping like crazy to your aunts, uncles, multiples grand parents and your dadi. You are luring the oldies with food and movies and you tempted your Simmi mosi with a pair of red stilettos. She came of course.

She has been mollycoddling you like a baby and you are thoroughly enjoying every bit of it. She litereally does everything for you and everytime she asks you who is your favorite mosi you tell her it is neha mosi!

The superhero drawing have gone beyond me as now you draw all of them together and then ask me to identify them. Most of the time they look like ants crawling on a paper so then you patiently point out each by his and her name and then expect me to remember it for next time. And if that is not enough to torture,  you are also planning to recite a superhero story in school as part of your summer assignment even though it clearly says it has to be story from a “book” and not an imagined war scene!

Btw did i tell you that you drew/inserted an ironman in the 3 bears and Goldilocks story?

We went to Hon Kong in May for a week again this year. You bought more than a sozen lego superheros and villains and I really thought we were done for now but you have already started your new shopping list on amazon.

You have started reading on your own these days but we always end up arguing when I try to correct you. You still hold the pencil awkwardly but atleast now I know you prefer to use your right hand.

We spoke on phone yesterday and because I was in office I did not say those 3 words so you kept waiting for me to say it and when I didn’t you started it this time. You said mama I love you and then waited for my I love you too my baby. Really, I think I can do with some raised eyebrows in my office these days J  

4 elephants on my wrist: 16 may 2016

4 elephants on my wrist: 16 may 2016: Dear Darsh, Your new best friend’s name is scratchy. When you come home from school, that’s the first thing you grab on to. It literal...

16 may 2016

Dear Darsh,

Your new best friend’s name is scratchy. When you come home from school, that’s the first thing you grab on to. It literally hangs around your body all the time, especially when you are sleeping. Yesterday I had gone to pick up my parents and you insisted on coming along. With Scratchy ofcourse. That’s what you call it. I don’t know why since it does not scratch at all. The journey down those 12 floors to the basement has never been this embarrassing. People in the lift would look at you and then at me. I simply shrugged. Scratchy in this lemon green flower printed summery blanket that I cover you with when the summer bedroom temp goes south of 20 degrees (yes the a.c., my age old nemesis). For some unknown reason you have adopted the blanket it as your pet, but since you have not started feeding it yet , i should probably just call it your friend or your inseparable companion. Your father likens you to Linus - the younger brother of Lucy. He made sucking thumb and holding a security blanket normal for kids his age. He also gave rise to the dictum – “happiness is a warm blanket, Charlie brown”. You are way past his age. But yet you remain happy with the oversized blanket.

You broke my favorite pie dish yesterday and when you saw me distraught over the loss you simply said we would buy another one mama. I could have never gotten away with such a statement at your age. Someone would have disciplined me then and there and there were so many disciplinarians in my house as it was a joint family… Anyways you also locked me while I was taking a bath. Thankfully there were people around.

The weekend school project was to aesthetically create a“self portrait” with dead leaves from the garden. Basically the school wanted you to re-explore the natural surroundings of the park in our society, at ground-level to be exact. You are ofcourse a cleanliness freak and found gazing up at the sky more interesting so I had to get down and point out the leaves/ grass etc for you to pick up. This went on for a few minutes until I pointed out something that wasn’t really decayed leaves and flowers …. yup dog poop. And then you spotted a very scary frog. After that you ran home and I had to follow you. I told you to draw yourself on a paper as we had to then stick dry leaves on it. The self portrait was more like “Wilson”, the friend that Tom Hanks had drawn in Cast Away. and if the self portrait was not scary enough already, it looked even creepier after it got adorned with the park fauna. I wonder what your teacher has to say about it.

You really enjoyed the zumba class on Saturday even though it was for women and you were the only kid around. You also enjoyed the skating class last week and we were amazed to see you move around so effortlessly in skates. I have plans for you now :D

Keep smiling my baby, my superstar my little Linus

hulk vs ultron lego

LEGO Super Heroes Mighty Micros Hulk vs. Ultron 76066 https://www.amazon.in/dp/B01AW1RAVI/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_qY.jxbG28Q9E0

LEGO Super Heroes Mighty Micros Hulk vs. Ultron 76066 https://www.amazon.in/dp/B01AW1RAVI/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_qY.jxbG28Q9E0

Earthquake and get-together at nani house

Dear Darsh,
Last wk was yr first real earthquake expwrience time because it wwnt on for sone time. And you saw a lot of people out of their apartments. You saw a lot of people taking stairs for the first time. Therefore you found it exciting. That day became more memorable for your advay dada as he got his fingers crushed in the car window. You of course found that incident also very memorable.
The next day you discussed the eaethquake with your other cousins. The ones who have just started speaking. It was obviously one-sided conversation where you tried to explain the earthquake and the mayhem it caused.

We went for the annual nani house stay over last week. You were one of the 4 kids but naughtiest of the lot. I was actually embarrassed. And three people told me you have become such a brat. You tried to confiscate advay's ben ten shoes. You tried to wear his spiderman wickets as your shoes and you fought with two of your cousins for the bat. And you hit onw of your little sisters. But you were a cool cook. You also wereterrified of the brown lizard and the dead cockroach.

When you became too impish for anyone to handle your nana decided to do an in-house poll to find out who is the cutest brother in the house. Since you must have known by that time you would lose any such popularity contest you revolted in style. You got up and told the audience that advay dada'a fingers got crushed in the car window. And then you literally pointed a finger at your nana and told everyone that he did it. Advay obviously stormed off after being reminded of his pain so eloquently. The favorite boy poll was not taken eventually and everyone was amazed at your incredible polticalness. I am ofcourse beyond any embarrassment now. Your ability to turn around a situation like this has left me slightly petrified of your talents now.

Stay sweet my child. Don't grow up so fast 😚

3rd day of new school but No comments pls

Dear Darsh,

You started school on monday. Today is Thursday. We still don't know what you do in school, who are your friends or most important - whether you are eating anything at all because you come home hungry and dull.
You refuse to give us any details of your school and whenever we ask you about anything at all you start making bird  language or tell us a superhero story or break into some random song. Obviously to stop any interrogation. What is less obvious to us is whether you are still making up your mind of liking this place or if you already dislike it too much to talk about it.
This school is slightly different as it is too big with too many kids. In short no more personal attentiin. I was scared earlier that you might get lost in the crowd but i know now i was wrong. I guess this new experience will give you a chance to shine brighter my dear. You will have to struggle a bit more to be heard. It will help you polish off your skills better and not get arrogant like i fear you were becoming. I am proud of you but i don't want you to be proud of your accomplishments... yet.

Of mystique and her powers

Dear Darsh
These past few days the 5 am conversations have become all the more interesting. One wee hour you woke up crying because you had just realised that you forgot to paint the cookies on your bday. So you wanted me to bake them again. At 5 am. I did bake them by 5 pm that day.
Another day you woke up at 5 am to tell me that daadi has changed. She is some other daadi as she now scolds you (i guess explaining to you about mystique and her special powers should have been avoided).
Another day was some superhero fight between your grandpa and an x men person. Again i had to listen to your story at 5 am. And if my eyes would shut you would make sure to keep them open by stretching them with your fingers.

Fall of the superheros

Dear Darsh,

I woke up in the nite as someone tapped me on the head. You should know by now i don't get scared easily unless its an earthquake. There was no one awake at that time. Except for your superheros lined up on the headboard. Slightly unbalanced, they were falling on my head one by head. Of course it took me some time to go back to sleep. But these days you want to sleep like that. So that you can play with them first thing in the morning. But i am sure the dreams you describe to me in the morning are having an impact as they are getting more gruelsome.  

Your bday is in a fortnight and the only thing you are keen on are your dath vader costume and the variety of cakes on all the occasions. As of now you want red velvet for midnight, pingu cake again for school and we are still deciding for party but the last request you made was for big hero 6.

We are planning a superhero themed party but now that you are planning to come as a villain i am not sure if it was a great idea! 

You are almost a pro on the scooter now and the doodling is in the same space - lego fight scenes. Now you create scenes with your lego and copy them in drawings.

Last weekend we went to your school for the winter carnival. Instead of enjoying at the stalls you were looking for your friends throughout the visit and looked completely lost. But you did introduce (proudly) your little sister Tia to all your friends.

We have been drilling the responsibilities of a 5 year old boy to you. I think you finalky got it as the other day you sat down and wrote that "i'll be a good boy from now and do my own things". That day you almost became independent. I was slightly sad but the next day you reverted to your old ways 😂
 

amazon and dreams

You have taken your pre-dinner shopping to a new level. From puny big basket you have moved on to amazon. You look for multiple lego products and “share” it with family on watsapp so that they can buy it from you. You also remind them in the morning and at times re-confirm whether they receiveed your “message” or not.

You have been telling your classmates also about your “wishlist” of the 4 items only.

Last week you told me you wanted to marry a classmate. Remind me to tell you about it when you are old enough to read this.

We chose a party venue for you which you refuse to enter so I am not sure if we should do it there.

You enjoyed watching Wazir as it had Amitabh Bachhan. You were excited about going for “airlift”. You were quiet until one of the characters mentioned “Amitabh Bachhan”. I think that was the only scene which you really liked. That and the part when you got popcorn in your hands.

Last night you told me you had broken your “avenger water bottle.” I said never mind we’ll buy another one. You then requested if we can buy a “star wars water bottle.” I am wondering if you broke it intentionally.

This month you had the first real boys’ fight. I think you have discovered the power of a fist as you have been hitting around quite generouslly.

This week you took the initiative to eat your lunch on your own. With the big spoon. Maybe it was the company. Maybe the dal chawal looked pretty in those bowls or maybe your were too hungry. Whatever the inspiration, I am happy that you are eating on your own finally.

I discovered today that there is a “show your underpants” thing going on in your class. Remind me to tell you about it when you are old enough to read this.

One morning yo got up and told me about your dream. Ofcourse it was a lego avenger versus star wars fight. I told you to write about in a diary. But ofcourse you drew the fight scene. It had around 20 people in a fight scene. Sometimes I really wonder what’s happening in that little head of yours.