big basket at 1 am & other fun midnite activities

Dear D

We are back on track for the long winter nights. When the day gets shorter because you nap too long and the night gets longer because at 1 am you tell me “can you tell me how to close my eyes and sleep? Can you tell me? No don’t close your eyes!” yupp I am back to telling you stories where 100 sheeps jump over the fence and you ask me “what happens next” after the 100^th sheep has jumped. The thing is, I tend to lose connect with the narration after the 100^th sheep. The focus on literature gets even more defined as the night progresses. I have picked up “the turning point” from my office library and you need to read the title of the book and then further. It’s not a night-time books for children my child. Infact far from it… So then I hide the book yet again and your roving eyes zoom in on my phone. And that’s when the final night-time activity really happens. No not the videos and pictures. Those are not that interest you anymore. You open big basket and type in the name of your favorite snacks – oreos, kinder joy, haldiram aloo bhujia, maggi etc.

Last night, however we had a difficult time on big basket. They had not kept ironman shoes that you wanted to pick for your friend Ranveer. In some corner of your brain you have figured out that iron man and hulk are best of friends. Since you have hulk shoes, it is but natural that Ranveer should be gifted iron man shoes. Anyways

Over the last one week you have been looking for a spouse. You proposed to me but I had to decline as I am already married. After that you proposed to your little sister Eira over skype. Like most girls her age, I think she ignored your question. I hope you are limiting your proposal to family only. I am not sure what your friends and teachers will say but it will surely not be pleasant response. Atleast I think so…

Yesterday I was talking with your daadi and you interrupted as always. So for the first time your daadi scolded you for the interruption. To which you responded by saying you were disturbing the ants in our house, not our conversation.

These days you are doodling channel logos. Your favorite is Star Gold and CBeeBees. And you want to draw maps of the countries you are being taught about. Did I tell you I am not good in drawing, painting or anything that needs a firm hand?

And we have successfully banned cartoon network from our house or so I am told but you have gone back to youtube and these days Charlie and lola are the ones we have to watch again and again. And that's where you learnt "i don't want to see your face again!"

As always, 

Your loving mom. 

Bua ki shaadi

Dear Son,
We came back from yr bua's wedding last night. While you had fun there, you were asking for return to "e block" quite repeatedly. You met a few of your long lost cousins there but Eira is still closest to your heart. You still refuse to consider Radhika, Tia or Amaira as your "fav" sisters.
At the venue you had woken from a deep sleep and i think you were having a jungle dream because you woke up screaming "snakes on the floor"! After a while you came back screaming cockroaches and then ants... finally your cousin Joy told you it's your imagination and you trusted him enough to stop screaming bugs. The next day i shrieked at the sight of a mouse but you calmly told me it's my imagination and went on with your task. So much for believing in me. Both times.

I was having a heart-to-heart conversation about the horrors of cartoon network to one of your cousins - specifically gumball ki atrangi duniya. He informed me that he used to watch it on youtube as CN didn't show it in India during "his time".

rainbow teaset, red hanumanji and other buys

Dear Darsh,

We had gone to Lucknow for Diwali this year. You had a fun time playing with Pogo this time. Strangely, you did not try to enter his cave beneath the bed this time. You did bully him a lot and at one time we found him hiding beneath a chair by covering himself with a bedsheet. The entire duration you scolded him like he was your errant younger brother in need of a lot of discipline. In retrospect I am glad you don’t have any siblings to take care of at home.

You also had a great time with your friends Ansh, Vardaan, Nivi and Chiku. They are the children of your father’s friends and it was surprisingly nice to see all you children hanging out together and having so much fun. You guys were play-acting in the roles of a princess, a king, a senapati and a pageboy.

And then there was this family photoshoot we went for in the Lohia park. It was so clean and well maintained and with just a few lovey-dovey couples (the Lodhi garden in Delhi is infested with them) it made a beautiful spot for the pictures. While you were as hyper as ever, you did give us some amazing pictures which I am going to cherish forever.

You have discovered the joys of app shopping and like temple run, you need your daily dose of big basket shopping where you are too kicked to type the names of your fav foods and see their picture appear too.

While I went shopping for half a dozen kolhapuris in Lucknow, you had gone to buy a tea set as you needed one for the tea party you are going to throw for your friends in school. An all boy tea party this time. Maybe your father’s get-together with his friends impressed you a lot this time in Lucknow. Maybe you thought they had a series of tea parties for three nites. One that went on till 6 am. You also bought a red hanumanji because of the ‘bajrangi bhaijan’ effect. After receiving lego avengers, you have become a bit creative in your demands these days. Now you want a lego salman khan and a lego munni. Last nite when I was ordering groceries on the hone you reminded me for those again.

These days you love to snack on onions and peanuts and bhujia and gummy bears. we recently discovered on our way to Lucknow that you do not like Dhaba food. We also discovered that you can hold on to your shit until told to exit it. We had to check out and reject a few public loos until your father had a brainwave and we went to an expensive restaurant which did have good bathroom but at the cost of a beer. He was happy to pay the price and I helped too a bit J

You are drawing/doodling a smiling ten-headed ravan these days. In Ramayana, you were puzzled on the lack of Bharat’s action scenes and found ram and lakshman naughty that they would choose to fight. I have started reading peter rabbit to you and I am happy to note I have finally discovered a book that makes you sleep. Either that or you were too tired last night. Over the last few days you have been listening to the avenger stories a bit more attentively. So now you know the difference between a superhero and a super villain. Now you know the difference between good and bad. So some days you want to be a villain and do the opposite of what you are told to do. But it seems you can’t even pretend to be ‘bad’ for too long and you always end up by saying ‘I love you too much mama I am sorry.’ Your father is impressed that you know the difference and can choose between the two. I, on the other hand, hope again that is a phase only.

Your 6 packs and other Oct events

Dear Darsh
You have been watching a lot of Salman movies these days and it is showing in your dreams and aspirations. Just 2 nites back after watching 'wanted' you were interested in knowing more about how to get 6 packs. I told you that eating and exercising are the only ways to acheive it. We went through an exhaustive food list but after much deliberation you decided on eating a bowl of rice - not in the list suggested by me but anyways. After finishing that you declared you had 6 packs and showed everything your tummy. Thankfully we won't be visiting that topic again for a few years. Atleast i hope so...
Your teacher insisted so we have been trying very hard to practice alphabets with you but you being yr stubborn self, all such efforts ended in tears. Yours ofcourse. And then one fine day i came across an excellent idea - to let you write what you want to write... as long as you are writing... so now you write the names of all your favorite bollywood actors and their hit movie names and your avenger heroes and the names of their enemies. And we have almost covered all the alphabets here.
You have also developed some nice dancing moves but strangely your fav dance songs (hooka bar and dil kare chu cha) come from Akshay Kumar movies. Your fav songs these days are balam pichkari and mai tera hero. The drawings are anothet matter altogether. Here are two: the first has you and me chasing a colorful peacock around our house (literally) to feed him while your father is flying around in an orange costume. I asked you why is he flying and you said because he needs to think.

The second is a scene between superman and hulk and a bolt of electricity between them. You were not clear about the electricity but you did tell me that superman won.

my scrawny hulk

Dear Darsh, 

your father got back from his annual ten-day US trip last night. By last night, I mean around 2 am. Obviously I was waiting up for him so slept after he arrived. You woke me up at 6 am wearing a Hulk face mask. An angry hulk face mask which was quite scary. I tried to go back to my dreamless slumber after that but at 6:20 am you woke me up to show me your Captain America ensemble. After that, you showed me Batman bedroom slippers, your avenger lego set, the minion play dough set and the list can go on but the excitement level at so early in the morning was just too much to handle. Have I told you that the pitch of your voice is indicative of your excitement level? You were practically shouting in the morning. You also had a ‘welcome back’ chat with your father where you took details of his trip, asked him why was he back and why did he go and did he miss you? somewhat in that order…

The whole of last week you did not go to school as you were down with fever and cough. So you tried to babysit your little sister Tia. Day one was successful and your lullaby and gentle touch made it easy for her to doze off. Day 2 she didn’t want to nap but you kept forcing her to lie on the bed. She still got up as she wanted to play. That was not your plan. After several more failed attempts to put her to sleep, you cried yourself to sleep in frustration.

And this month has been quite frustrating for you and not just because of your ill health. You had made a card for your bestie and wanted to invite him to your house for a playdate but this being the season time it was not possible to make this happen. You wanted to accompany your nana nani to France first and then you wanted to travel to Allahabad with them. You were unhappy with your father as he went to USA without you... I think you have acquired the restless genes from my father which forces him to be in motion even in his 60s. I don’t remember a single month in which he would have not travelled across the state on some pretext or the other. Sadly your restless genes only want to do long distance and not short distance trips – i.e. the park in our society or even for cycle ride!

Every year, the day your father leaves for usa is followed by the day my bestie comes over to stay for a night or two. We try to do these annual meet-ups without your father because girls like to talk and some of it might be too much for your dad to handle so yes we look forward to these annual stay-overs. Not anymore though. With three children in the house, the fun-stay became a nightmare with you kids fighting, brawling, throwing up or sulking (you). You were jealous of the other kids too. Perhaps I should not have paid her child too much attention but you litereally sat on her, pushed her, hurt her and I was shocked, embarrassed, repulsed and felt really sorry for the child and angry at myself. I do pity you for not having a sibling but what you did was unacceptable so I told you to get out of my room and my sight. That, I think hurt you like never before and you have since then not forgotten it.

Now let me tell you about your hulk obsession. But that is what I am going to call it for now. We have 2 hulk toy models in our house. We also have the other super heroes like spiderman, thor iron man, etc but hulk is your favorite. Even in comic books. Infact you are not even interested in what spiderman is upto in the next story. If hulk is not there, you are not ready to listen to any story. Sometimes he sleeps with us even when there is no space in the bed. You also talk to him and make him beat Spiderman pretty often. After you bugged us for his costume, your father got one from USA. He also got you Captain America costume but that you have not worn at all. For the last 2 days you have been wearing hulk costume. You went to the park and scared the children and their oarents by making some extraordinary hulky noises. Your father is worried. He is wondering why have you chosen hulk as your hero and not any ‘positive avenger hero’. Because we all know hulk stays angry and grumpy all the time. I think he is wondering why are you gravitating towards aggressive heroes. I have a different take on the whole issue. At this stage you are exactly 4 year 8 months old but you still look too small for your age. You are underweight and maybe you want to grow big and strong really fast so that you are treated as an equal in your peer group. Maybe in a class full of older boys, you want to be a force to reckon with. Maybe you just want to see what does it feel like to be with fake 6 pack. In any case I just think it’s a phase that you would outgrow soon. You need to too cause the hulk costume will not survive if your wear at ten am and get out of it at ten pm. Frankly my dear, there is never a dull moment with you so with or without hulk’s meanness, you are still my little baby who sucks his thumb when he wants milk in the morning :*

morning tickle attacks

Dear Darsh, 

All my life I have avoided the tacky crassy movies that are filled with old jokes, fake crying, insane dialogues and lyrics, aging actors and debutante actresses. In short, I don’t like slapstick comedy. But after an incessant chanting of I want to watch singh is bling followed by the “song” for almost 2 days, we had to go for it. It was quite bad and you slept midway. Sadly you missed ‘the song’ as it came at the end. The girl kicked ass in this movie, literally. I asked you how you feel that the pretty girl is hitting so many naughty people. Instead of answering, you just looked at me a bit strangely. Strenage movies have strenger impact on people so don’t judge my sanity yet.

Your nana and nani returned from France last weekend and they came back with lots of gifts and a letter for you from your Advay Dada. That letter has had a profound impact on you. To be fair, it is at the back of a minions postcard. Infact I believe to avoid writing he made a drawing too. But it has touched you in deeper places than anything else ever has. You wrote and drew a long reply, which I have been told to deliver to Advay. You double checked my purse to see if it’s there or not. Before leaving the car today, you again reminded me for it. Oh and the postcard letter was read and reread several times since you received it. Infact that was what you asked for when you got up in the morning. We played with the soldiers in the morning too. But they were bnot fighting. They were actually talking. And just to be clear, you told my soldiers what to discuss… The cuckoo clock, you advised us, had to be in your room. Then you told me to put it in the drawing room. Then you wanted me to put a nail on a blank wall to hang it so that everyone can see it. Which is why I have hidden it for now…  And I am not sure why are you hoarding all the eiffel tower key rings.

This was a long weekend. Very long for our family because you woke up at 4.30 am and wanted everyone else to get up too. On Sunday, you wanted me to make the pingu cake so you assembled colorful ball candies for the eyes. You got the edible color tray, icing and even got out some cake slices. Then you placed 4 bowls on the dining table and waited to be served. It was an exhausting weekend but I guess we are used to all this now so it was fun too my munchkin. Love you lots.

A typical conversation at 4.30 am

You: I love you mumma

Me: I love you too baby

You: Should we tickle attack papa?

Me: no dear not yet. Let him sleep some more. Maybe after the sunrise.

You: ok

After 5 minutes

You: Look the sun is up. Should we tickle attack him now?

Me: Go to sleep Darsh!

You: But why…

Marsh and bollywood

Dear Darsh, 

Your school is making you guys enact Bharat milap or some such similar scene from Ramayana today. A performance to delight the younger crowd in your school. Not for the parents though. You are delighted to play the role of Bharat. Namish is playing Ram. His mother informs me it’s because Ram does not have much to speak and Namish is a quiet boy so it suits. You, I know are quite talkative so I am really wondering what’s happening in your school today. But I love it that you have such amazing teachers who sustain daily through your chatter. But you know na that they too have started complaining about the non-stop urge to talk.

We went to Vaishno Devi last weekend. We were excited for your first train ride with the whole family but you slept most of the time so it was mostly uneventful. You were initially scared but were looking forward to hop on to the helicopter for the to and fro journey to the mountain top and back. But the skies were cloudy enough for the helicopter service to shut shop. So we tried to climb up. Which did not last even a kilometer so we hired ponies. Later we were chased by a monkey because you were carrying a chocolate in your hand. That was the only time you decided to walk. We all came back with the divine blessings and headaches and backaches but you got a load full of memories. Treasure those because we are hoping to repeat the experience only in the next decade and not before that.

During one of your pony rides, you revealed to your father that you have a cute little younger brother and his name is Marsh, just like Darsh. You told him he plays with you and you hold him in your hands. Frankly my dear, these days your imagination is giving me a slight chill. After that, you have been telling us daily to go and get you a little brother called Marsh.

On our way back, you went through the inflight magazine not because you wanted to buy some toy, but because you were looking for a picture of Ranbir Kapoor. These days, I am so often reminded of the scenes outside my school when there would be vendor guys trying to sell stickers and bollywood actors pictures and posters. I am embarrassed to admit your big mosi did buy some of those posters but I think she was in the 7^th standard then. Not a 4 foot person. Your bollywood craze is driving me nuts these days. Last night instead of watching the half hour of American sitcom drama I am so used to, I had to endure Chennai Express because you wanted to see ‘Shahrukh Khan.’ And then on top of that you asked me to repeat some dialogues too. 

Today's update – your grandmother called up to say that you came home crying and you were crying in the bus and the school too. I called up your class teacher puja to find out and this was revealed:

it seems today end of the day you were disturbing the class. repeating after the teacher and singing songs. so your mam asked you to keep quiet. to that you said there is a bird in my throat and i can't keep quiet. She asked you is it a parrot as only a parrot can be repeating exactly what she was saying.

Then she warned the class that if anyone disturbs further has to go to the blue sky class to sakshi mam. you continued to disturb the class and refused to go to blue. so puja mam lifted you up and put you in that class. 

after that you were crying loudly (and she told me here that when you cry you really do cry with lots of tears) and finally puja mam went to you, chatted and cleaned your face etc. but then you started the Mikhail story (same old – that he hit you) and started crying again. 

i told her i have never told him that birds can enter a person’s throat. 

to that she replied that darsh is a very smart boy. a very very smart boy.

i was too embarassed after all this to ask her how was the enactment and did he eat lunch today.  And this is why your mother has decided to not go to any of the ptms in 2015. It’s too embarrassing to face the teacher after all this.

e ptms in 2015. It’s too embarrassing to face the teacher after all this.

Sept 30, 2015.